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The Mommy Test

This Girl Asked Her Mom How She Has The Right To Order Her. Her Mom's Reply Is Genius.

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The Mommy Test

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,
but she was evidently pondering this new information.

”OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Source: http://www.hrtwarming.com

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See more: This Woman Asked The Pilot For A Favor But Everyone Was Shocked When He Did This

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way.

The flight attendant explained that there would he a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in so minutes…

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind…

A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her guide dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight… He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her. and calling her by name, said, “Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”

The blind lady said, ‘No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.”

All the people in the gate area came to a complete stand still when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a guide dog for the blind! Even worse, the pilot was wearing sunglasses!

People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

Source: https://quoteslifebook.com

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See more: Husband Admits To Sleeping With Wife’s SISTER. But Her Response Is The Best Thing I’ve Ever Read

Break up’s are always nasty, and divorce is even worse! I mean they can get nasty, just as this one did, when this Ex Husband left his wife for HER SISTER! He wrote the most awful letter – which made me so mad, I felt SO sorry for his wife…until I read her response. You must read these letters! And you must read them to the very end!

“Dear Wife,

I’m writing this letter to you to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell…Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.”

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!”

But, he was completely unaware of the fact that she had a surprise for him. The letter she wrote sums it up:

“Dear Ex-Huband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work.

I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1rst thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this I still loved you & felt we could work it out.

So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone…Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.”

It seems like this woman got the best revenge on her cheating spouse, doesn’t it?

Source: healthylifevision.com

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See also: 

Wife Writes A Seriously Angry Letter To The ‘Other’ Woman

This wife found evidence from the “other woman” her husband was cheating with and she writes her a vicious online letter. You might think it’s crazy, but she probably knows that her intended reader will find it for sure.

What do you think? Is she justified in her response or should she take the high road and just move on?

THANKS Jennifer…..

For leaving bite marks all over my husbands chest last night.

No, really, Thank You! You have no idea what a nightmare you have just saved me and my kids from.

To reward you for your services I am offering you my husband for keeps. Should you accept your prize please note the following rules.

1. You are going to have to financially support him. I say this because we have 2 children together (but you knew that) which means that he will have to give up a sizeable chunk of his pay to support them in the manner they deserve. Please keep in mind that since he has kept me a stay at home Mom for the better part of the last 11 years he will also be paying me alimony. So forget about his money honey cause it’s mine!

2. You will have to provide him with new attire. You see after he stepped from our (now mine) shower this morning dripping wet and naked is when I discovered your little “love bites”. It just so happened that at that EXACT moment a giant black hole appeared in my home and devoured almost all of his clothing. Therefore he will come to you almost naked (lucky you). The bright side is that you can dress him any way you want. Go nuts and buy him a leash and some vinyl attire or a cute little dress while your at it.

3. You will have to give him up every other weekend. This time will be set aside for his visits with his children. Since he openly admitted (in front of several people) that you are just “some dumb drunk b***h” that he met at a “tweakers” house you will be banned from these visits for fear of my children’s safety. Just so you know, that is also going to be the reason to have his visits limited (if not supervised). After all WTF was HE doing at a “tweakers” house in the first place?

4. You will not be having a proper s3x life. Yes, I know that you didn’t scr3w him last night. Since his back injury 4 years ago his “equipment” hasn’t worked right. Too bad for you because before that it was THE BEST S3X EVER and we scr3wed all the time! However, now he’ll most likely disappoint you with his half hard member that only works with a little blue pill. Please don’t let that fool you. The little blue pill means that he comes within 2 minutes….hardly enough time for you and 98% of the time he will just be too embarrassed to even try. Stock up on your batteries and/or multiple s3x partners! By the way, No it CANNOT be fixed. It’s nerve damage sweetie, deal with it!

5. You will NOT return him to me. I will NOT have him. He messed up when he touched you! I was a good wife to him and he had a good thing going on here. Don’t be surprised if you don’t live up to me because you won’t and he will make you miserable for it!

6. He will blame you for ALL of this. He told me, with tears in his eyes, that you giggled to him “I hope your wife sees that”. I don’t know if you said it or not. I don’t really care. However, just in case you did, your wish came true. I did see it, and he’s pissed. He’s so mad that you made that comment that when I punched him in the eye after he apologized to me! Yes, I know violence is wrong and to be honest I’ve never hit anyone before. However, I am not sorry that I did and if I could have that moment back I would have simply aimed lower!

7. This one isn’t really a rule, more like a friendly warning. I will make sure to take up as much of his time with the most petty crap I can find to spite you. I will make it my hobby to hurt him and you the same amount my kids are hurting right now. Please be aware that he will take it, he will deal with it for years with a smile. I was with him for 12 years, I know him better. Yes, I do feel completely justified in my actions. Just in case you were wondering.

So Thank you, Jennifer the dumb drunk b***h from the tweakers house who left bite marks on my husband chest last night, for showing me that 11 years and 2 children were no match for you! I applaud you on a man well won. HE’S ALL YOURS!

Source: happylifereport.com